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The Perfect Relationship
We might be looking for our "perfect partner" or "perfect relationship" but no such thing exist. The type and quality of our relationships depends solely on our thoughts and changes as our thinking changes.
How to Pickup Women Easily
A few years ago, I found myself dumped by a girl I had been going out with for quite some time. I was a wreck. I had no self-confidence and understood very little about how exactly to meet women and even go for a date. I went through everything and I studied loads of "dating experts." I put it all into action and lastly identified what works best.
Christina Rossetti
"Love shall be our token; love be yours and love be mine."
I Now Pronounce You Single and Happy
As a woman of Hispanic origin I have forgotten the number of times I heard an older person in my family tell me how my clock was ticking as I approached my thirties. I could only shake these comments off when I started to reply that so was theirs, only for a different reason.
Does He Really Love Me the Way He Says He Does? Find Out If You're the Only Woman He Wants
If you're going through a breakup or if you're in a relationship you feel has lost some of its passion, then you may be wondering if your man truly loves you the way he says he does. Being in love with someone and being unsure if they feel the same way about you can be a very difficult situation. Guys are often difficult for women to read and are less emotional to begin with. Thus, when you're not a man yourself, understanding men can seem like a hopeless situation.
Susannah McCorkle
"People will always need love, romance, a tender touch, and really personal and deeply felt music."
Dating and Numerology, Numbers 1-9 Personified--How Each Behaves Romantically
The root numbers 1-9 each symbolize unique qualities and are expressed in various forms, including balanced, over-balanced, and under-balanced energy. The specific form of the number expressed depends on the symbolic support or mitigation of the other hundreds of considerations in the ...
Make Him Fall in Love - How You Can Build a Rewarding Relationship
Have you been dating a guy you really like and are hoping to make him fall in love? Are you unsure of what steps to take to move your relationship to the next level? Are you wondering whether he feels as deeply for you as you do for him?
Avoid This One Simple Mistake When Talking to Women Which Will Ruin Your Efforts Instantly
This one simple mistake is something many of us do without even thinking. Yet it immediately ruins our chances when talking to a girl. This article will explain this simple mistake and tell you how to act instead to increase your chances with a girl.
Relationship Attraction Like Never Before With the Law of Attraction
Peace of mind, health, happiness, creativity, connection, liberation, and compassion. That's what you have access to when you recall the powerful creator you are. Turn attractive to that which you want by wearing the energy of what you desire AS IF it is already here. Realize and love the energy ...
How to Write the First Message to Her
Among the list of hippest things at the moment is internet dating. You are able to find women online with just a couple of clicks. There once was a stigma round online dating, but seriously a man would have to be brainless not to try it out. Consider This. Certainly you'll find lots of women ...
Make Him Fall in Love - Make the Process Work For You
Are you hoping to make a man fall in love with you? Are you looking for a few secrets to make this happen? Do you understand the process men go through when falling in love?

Ask Dan and Jennifer

“The Marriage Ref” Almost Nails It
I recently watched The Marriage Ref which premiered earlier this month. According to Wikipedia.com, the premise of the show involves real life couples who have been having an on-going fight for a long time. A video clip is shown to the three-member celebrity panel, showing both sides of the argument. The panel then discuss the merits [...]
What To Do If You Think You’ve Been Raped
Whether you’ve been violently raped or have been a victim of date rape drugs and aren’t sure what happened, being raped is a frightening experience and many women just aren’t sure what to do afterwards. Here’s what you need to do if you’ve been raped or think you’ve been raped, so you can begin the [...] Related articles:What Are Date Rape Drugs? What Is Date Rape? What Is YOUR Plan B? The Truth About Emergency Contraception Top 10 Contraception MYTHS Q&A: How To Shave Male Genitals (Video)
What Are Date Rape Drugs?
Rape has been around for centuries – but date rape drugs haven’t. Recently, date rape drugs have become more popular among rapists and even seemingly regular guys, because it allows them to silently slip a drug into a girl’s drink to incapacitate them. Many girls who have been given date rape drugs are completely knocked [...] Related articles:What Is Date Rape? All In Good Fun – Or Date Rape? (Video) What To Do If You Think You’ve Been Raped What Does Your Drink Say About YOU? First Date Dilemma
Q&A: How Do I Ask Him If He’s A Virgin Without Offending Him? (Video)
When in a new relationship with someone, it’s tempting to ask about your partner’s sexual past, especially if you’re a virgin. Should you? Yes – it can help you know more about your partner and help assess your risk for contracting a sexually transmitted disease. But it’s not exactly the easiest issue to bring up [...] Related articles:Are You Ready For Sex? (You Don’t Have To Be A Virgin To Answer This Question) I’m A Virgin – Will My Big Penis Hurt My Partner? (Video) 3 Tips To Talk Dirty Without Offending Her (Video) Is It Normal For a Virgin to Be Into BDSM? (Video) Virgin Male Swinger – Are My First Time Fears Normal? (Video)
Q&A: I’m Still Friends With My Ex But It’s Awkward (Video)
Breaking up is hard – but dealing with your ex afterwards can be even more difficult. During the awkward time after a breakup, it’s hard to tell if you should try to stay friends with your ex or cut off all communication completely. Here’s how to handle the situation if you want to try to [...] Related articles:Friends After Break Up… Why Won’t He Return My Calls? Can You Trust Your Partner to Be JUST Friends with a Previous Lover? (Video) Is It Wrong To Be Friends With My Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriend? (Video) How Do I Tell My Best Friend I Want to Be More Than Friends? (Video) Friends? Lovers? Pick One! – The One That Got Away… (Video)
Q&A: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Like When I Touch Her G-Spot (Video)
Finding a woman’s g-spot and learning how to give her pleasure can make your sex life hotter, but what if your partner doesn’t like g-spot stimulation? Does it mean that you are doing something wrong, or that your partner just doesn’t like having her g-spot stimulated? Here’s what you can do if your partner doesn’t dig [...] Related articles:Sex Tip: How To Find The G-Spot (Video) eXtreme Sex Ed: I Feel Like I Have To Pee During Oral Sex! (Video) 3 Things All Men Need To Know About The G-Spot Send Her To A Cloud Of Pleasure: How To Hit The G-Spot During Sex How You Can Finally Spot The G-Spot
When A Woman Tries To Control, Rescue, Or Fix Her Man
Every once in awhile I get to experience what it’s like for a man when a woman tries to control, rescue, or fix him. Every time it happens, I get a hint of how humiliating it is for men to have women mother them in this way. Did you know that women do to other women [...] Related articles:What Gives A Woman Sex Appeal? You Said What?! Seven Things You Should Never Say To A Woman How to Approach Any Woman Without Fear of Rejection – Pick Up Secrets Exposed by a Woman Do You Have To Leave The Country To Find A Good Woman? Does Your Woman Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm? Try These 2 Powerful Tips…
What Is Date Rape?
When we think of rape, our minds automatically drift to a stranger crouching low in a dark alleyway as he waits for a girl – a runner, a student walking home from class, a woman unloading groceries from her car. It doesn’t matter to him who it is. But there is more than one kind [...] Related articles:What Are Date Rape Drugs? All In Good Fun – Or Date Rape? (Video) What To Do If You Think You’ve Been Raped What To Do When He Doesn’t Call After Your First Date… What Happened? (Video) Q&A: What Went Wrong On The First Date (Video)
Moving From The Blame Game To The Joy And Satisfaction Game
In the middle of an argument with my husband the other night – one of those getting ready for bed and “oops” someone said the wrong thing experiences – I had a humbling revelation. I discovered that making comparisons is just another way of playing the blame game. As someone who holds the intention to stop [...] Related articles:Are You Playing The Blame Game? Do Any Of These Situations Sound Familiar? Why Play is Crucial to the Game of Love Satisfaction or Frustration – How Would You Describe Your Sex Life? Weathering the Storm – How to Survive Stressful Times Together BDSM 101 – Moving Beyond Plain Vanilla Sex
Q&A: I’ve Confessed My Love – Now What? (Video)
You’ve confessed your love to a girl, and now she’s run for the hills. What do you do? Did you come on too strongly, or is she giving you mixed signals? Dating comes with lots of questions and very few answers, but here’s what you can do when a girl you like starts giving you [...] Related articles:I’m In Love With My Best Friend. How Do I Tell Her? (Video) In Love and Dating… Does Our Age Difference Really Matter? (Video) What To Do When He Doesn’t Call After Your First Date… What Happened? (Video) Webcam Love Affair – Will It Work? (Video) How Not To Screw Up Your First Date! (Video)
Q&A: How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Bisexual? (Video)
Discovering that you’re bisexual is one thing, but telling your parents is another! The thought of telling your parents that you’re bisexual or even gay is frightening. How will they react? Will they become angry or will they accept you? Here’s how you can tell your parents about your sexual orientation, regardless of what their [...] Related articles:Is It Wrong To Be Bisexual? Should I Explore My Sexuality? (Video) Should I Tell My Parents I’m Gay? (Video) Q&A: Should I Talk To My Parents About Sex? (Video) BDSM Dilemma – Should I Tell My Parents? (Video) How To Know If She’s Straight (and interested in you…), Bisexual, or Lesbian? (Video)

Live to Love

Dear Sugar

Socialized Medicine: Cuba Paying For Sex Changes
Fidel Castro might have outlasted nine US presidents, but change has come to Cuba in at least one way. While Fidel and his revolutionaries used to punish gays and transexuals, the government now pays for sex change operations under its universal healthcare system. The program began in 1988, but was suspended for 20 years because many felt the scarce resources could be spent on other needs. But despite these concerns, and in the face of much homophobia, the government has reinstated the program thanks to Fidel's niece Mariela, Cuba's top gay-rights activist. Even Fidel, who oversaw the jailing of and discrimination against gay citizens, says "Old prejudices and narrow-mindedness will increasingly be things of the past." Of course it's one thing to overcome prejudices against transexuals, and another to pay for the expensive procedures, which cost up to $25,000 in the US. Yet, doctors in Cuba only make an average salary of $20 a month (!), so costs might be lower. Cuba is not alone, of course. Canada, Britain, France, and Brazil finance sex reassignment surgeries, and San Francisco pays for the procedures of city employees. Considering how important a sex reassignment surgery is for a transgender individual, do you think it should be covered by insurance – government-provided or not?
Grab Bag! Men Have More Free Time
Shocking: men have more free time than women - Lemondrop How do you tell friends and family you eloped? Don't - The Frisky Confronting a former one-night stand - Em & Lo Who makes plans in your relationship? - Glamour Colin Farrell joins Lady Gaga on the list of celibate celebs - The Daily Beast OMG! New clip from third installment of Twilight saga - PopSugar
Friends or Famine: Do You Want to Be Alone After a Breakup?
I'm hardly fit for human interaction in the first raw days after a breakup. I'm prone to crying in public and convincing myself, and everyone around me, that all would be well if I hadn't said that one thing three months ago. The only thing I find more unpleasant than myself is company. Happy people. People who slept last night. The people who don't have a roll of toilet paper on their nightstand because they ran out of tissues. Yet two friends going through breakups right now want anything but to be alone. Friends are the distraction that keeps their thoughts from spiraling down and their outlook on the up. Source: Flickr User Yannell Friends or Famine: Do You Want to Be Alone After a Breakup? Friends - They keep me occupied! Famine - I just want to be alone. A bit of both!
Speed Read! Actor Corey Haim Dead From Apparent Overdose
'80s star Corey Haim found dead at 38 - PopSugar The average person's sex life ends at age 70 - Daily Intel Academy apologizes for Farrah Fawcett memorial snub - People Today is National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers - Feministing Walmart sells a black Barbie for half the price of identical white Barbie - ABC Chanel uses fake fur, calls attention to global warming - Fashionologie
Do You Care About the Love Lives of Public Figures?
If French blogs are to be believed, France's first couple (and one of our faves) is in the midst of not one, mais two affairs. Rumor has it that Carla Bruni has fallen for French singer Benjamin Biolay, while President Nicolas Sarkozy has taken up with a right-wing politician/karate expert. But don't expect a reliable news agency to find out if it's true. The legitimate French press is indifferent about the illegitimate relationships of politicians, partially due to strict privacy laws, but also thanks to the view that it's not newsworthy. We know the American press loves it some affairs, whether they involve golf stars or presidents. Do you wish the US was blasé like the French, or are you happy to be filled in on the rumors, true or not? Do You Care About the Love Lives of Public Figures? Yes - I love heartwarming love stories and juicy gossip. Sometimes - If they're politicians I think it says a lot about them. No - I couldn't care less.
Hump Day: A Missing Sex Drive
Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice! Today's Question: "I'm worried that I do not have a sex drive. At all. Right now my boyfriend and I have sex regularly but I don't enjoy it and find myself making excuses to avoid it. I've read that this can be due to medication, but I don't think I've ever enjoyed sex in the decade or so I've been active regardless of any prescriptions. Any advice on how to change this and on how to enjoy sex with my partner would be very much appreciated!" To see what Dr. Glickman's advice, read more. There are a couple of different pieces to this, so let’s take them one at a time. First, have you ever enjoyed solo sex? Have your experiences with partners all been equally unenjoyable? Were there some experiences that were more fun than others? Do you ever have sexual fantasies? If so, how well do they match what you’ve tried in real life? Do you notice arousal if you read erotica? Have you tried using a vibrator? I ask because there’s a fair amount to unpack in the “I don’t enjoy sex” category and there might be some good information there for you. Any changes in your experience or variations in the pattern could offer valuable insight. If you’re not sure how to start figuring these things out, I have two books to suggest. The first is Becoming Orgasmic, a self-guided program of self-exploration, with a lot of suggestions and ideas. You start off working through the book on your own and then you bring your partner into it. I’ve spoken with a lot of women who have been able to connect with their arousal cycle as a result of this book. I can’t say enough good things about it. The second book is I Love Female Orgasm, which is full of amazing ideas and creative suggestions and useful information. On the other hand, if you’ve tried different ways to have sex with the same results, there might be something else going on. You’re right that a lot of drugs, both prescription and otherwise, can affect arousal. Have you ever talked to a doctor about this? There might be a medical issue that hasn’t been addressed. Not that I want to scare you or anything, but it’d be good to rule out the possibility that there is something medical happening. Another direction that you might want to take would be to find a therapist, especially if you’ve ever experienced any kind of sexual injury or assault or if you find yourself checking out during sex. While not all people who experience challenges with sexual desire have had those experiences, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention them. Sometimes, even when we feel like those events are way in the past, they still affect our sexual interactions. RAINN has a hotline, as well as a list of local organizations. It would also be a good idea to talk with your boyfriend about this. It might be really hard, but if you’re making excuses, he probably knows that there’s something going on already. If you can explain to him that this is something that you’ve experienced for a long time, rather than having to do with him, that could take a lot of the pressure off you. One thing - some guys have the idea that their partner’s sexual enjoyment is a measure of their own masculinity. If this seems to be yanking his chain, he might also find that a therapist’s support can help. I’m sure that some people will make all sorts of suggestions, such as trying g-spot play, or a vibrator. It’s certainly possible that some of those might work for you, but the consistency that you describe your situation having makes me think that a quick answer like that isn’t the best place to start. Of course, I could be wrong, but at the very least, check out the books and see if they have anything to offer you. There’s a lot of great info in both of them, but if you’re looking for more of the how-to stuff, I Love Female Orgasm might be a better bet.
When Did You Have Your First Boyfriend?
Whether it was a kindergarten romp a high-school fling or college relationship, when did you first merge "boy" and "friend"?

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5 Ways to Score Points with Your Woman

Dad's House

A Dad, His Daughter, Her Friend

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Simple Marriage

Unlocking Your Sexual Potential

Bound, Not Gagged

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flickr

Reverse Cowgirl

Love & Sex

Are You a "Makeout Bandit"?
My friend Bea taught me an amazing phrase the other day: “makeout bandit.” After a recent breakup, she’s been “on a tear” (her words). She’s referred to her new kissing-friendly persona as a makeout bandit, and I have to say, I love it.
Internet 101: It All Starts With Sex
Yesterday, I listened to the most titillating story I’ve heard on NPR in sometime. It was about the internet. And sex. NPR’s new-ish series, “The Net At 40” discusses how the internet has evolved over the years. Yesterday’s installment, “How Sex Made the Internet Hot,” focuses on the ways sex, specifically pornography pioneered the online technologies that we use daily.
5 Love Lessons From "Lost"
Beyond smoke monsters and the Dharma Initiative, Lost is really about the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 and the bonds between them (OK, and Sawyer's abs). Here are five love lessons we've learned from Lost; thankfully you don't have to be stranded on a tropical island to take advantage of these relationship tips.
Confessions of a "Millionaire Matchmaker" Millionaire
One of EMandLO.com's Wise Guys,
How To Get Inside Someone's Head (and Bed)
My friend J. Michael gave me some sage advice. Since he’s great looking, a former pro athlete and single in NYC, I figured he’d been in and out of more than a few beds (and heads) in his time. He says his grandfather, (a steel mill workin’, Harley drivin’, huntin’ and…
Three Top Matchmakers Share Their Tips For Finding Mr. Right
What to wear, where to go, and the one critical mistake women make that causes men to run for the hills. - Libby Keatinge,
User post: My husband never wants to go out, what should I do?
We have been married for 6 years and we never travel for many reasons (financial, work, etc). We used to occasionally go out but lately he just doesn't want to go out. I am really bored and it's nice outside. I want to go out. I can't go out with friends. Tired of internet and T.V. He is…
Coping With Adultery
Few things may be more hurtful and humiliating than learning that your spouse has had an affair. In fact, the sense of betrayal, anger and sadness that you feel can be downright overwhelming. If these feelings aren't processed and dealt with appropriately, the healing process will never occur.…
3 Ways to Get Him in Shape — and Improve Your Relationship
Knowing that it's almost time to shop for a new bikini is probably all the motivation you need to hit the gym, but bathing suit season scare isn't enough for guys. (We blame board shorts.)

Tango

5 Unique Wedding Invitations We Love
This past January, Jeff and Erin Wong dazzled the Internet with their epic wedding invite, which featured the couple in just about every blockbuster movie stereotype. We thought that was pretty cool until we saw "Darino and Niko's Incredible Adventure," an 8-bit video game where invitees can play as either the bride or the groom to receive details about the wedding. Here's a clip from their Mario/Donkey Kong-inspired creation: Keywords: internet, trend, wedding, wedding invitationBookmark/Share this post with: read more
Lost Boy Corey Haim's Grieving Ex-Girlfriends
Former teen heartthrob Corey Haim is dead at 38 from a drug overdose. "The Hamster" was reportedly dating Rock of Love reality television star Daisy De La Hoya around the time of his death, who, perhaps-not-that-interestingly enough, was also dealing with her own drug addictions. Now, a look back on the other women in his life.Keywords: alyssa milano, Corey Feldman, Victoria BeckhamBookmark/Share this post with: read more
Postpartum Depression: How To Beat The Baby Blues
Kendra Wilkinson, the star of reality show Kendra, recently revealed her struggles with postpartum depression, a topic she plans on covering during Season 2 of the show. The baby blues: It's a condition that has been gaining greater visibility over the years and, hopefully, its inclusion on shows like Kendra will convince even more would-be and recent parents that it's something to be both watched our for and taken seriously. So how can you tell if what you're experiencing is more than just short-term blues and irritability?Keywords: anxiety, baby, depression, signsBookmark/Share this post with: read more
Revisiting The David Letterman Sex Scandal
Just recently, the New York Post ran a piece in which many former staffers dished on David Letterman, painting the picture of a guy with supercharged "sexual electricity." Regina Lasko is really no different from these other ladies, considering that she also used to work for Dave and began dating him while he had a serious girlfriend. And not to say that she still can't be hurt by his infidelity, but as someone who was once "the other woman," is it fair for her to hold a grudge against Dave for too long?Keywords: celeb gossip, celebrities, celebrity news, David Letterman, Joe Halderman, Regina Lasko, Stephanie BirkittBookmark/Share this post with: read more
Liar Liar! Why We Lie And How To Spot A Liar
When it comes to relationships, why do we lie? Plus, how to spot a liar. Despite the warning of countless children's stories, we humans still lie. Has the fear of growing long, wooden noses or becoming a wolf's next meal taught us nothing?Keywords: betrayal, honesty, infidelity, insecurity, liar, lie, lies, lying, relationshipsBookmark/Share this post with: read more
7 Characteristics Of A Terrible Wingman
Now the time is nigh to discuss a global epidemic, a scourge as unnatural as the acting in an Olive Garden commercial or the ending to "Shutter Island." I'm talking about cockblockers.Keywords: Dating, friend, friendship, single with married friends, wingmanBookmark/Share this post with: read more
Lindsay Lohan: Lawsuits And Loneliness?
Lindsay Lohan is suing the brokerage company E*Trade over one of their omnipresent and obnoxious talking baby ads, in which a bediapered lothario blows off his baby girlfriend in favor of "that milkaholic, Lindsay." Keywords: addiction, celeb love, celebrity relationship, Dina Lohan, drugs, Lesbians, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan, Samantha RonsonBookmark/Share this post with: read more
Baby On The Way For Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon?
Mariah Carey has many titles: singer, actress, entrepreneur. At 39, is she ready to add "mother" to that list? Carey and her husband Nick Cannon are no stranger to pregnancy rumors, but this one appears to have some evidence behind it.Keywords: celebrity, celebrity pregnancy, Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey Nick Cannon, Nick CannonBookmark/Share this post with: read more
Farrah Fawcett Oscar Snub Disappoints Ryan O'Neal
For once, Ryan O'Neal isn't acting like a total cad and is actually standing up to the Academy to defend Farrah Fawcett's honor.Keywords: celebrity, Farrah Fawcett, Oscar, Ryan O'NealBookmark/Share this post with: read more

Words of Wisdom

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on NPR’s All Things Considered: sex and in...

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TheFrisky

Quickies: Michael Jackson Liked Women & Police Want Ben Roethlisberger’s DNA
Former bodyguards say Michael Jackson desired women and wasn’t a pedophile. [TMZ] A Chinese author, who alleged that “Avatar” was his brainchild, has had his lawsuit dismissed. [Starpulse] Are any of these things on your list of items to save?...
Love Vandal: Someone Wants You To Know ...
Reader Hayley snapped this on a stair in at Auburn University in Alabama. “There are a few of these floating around campus,” she told us. Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to...
Today’s Lady News: Muslim Women Protest At Sex-Segregated Mosque
A group of Muslim women at the Islamic Center in Washington, D.C., risked arrest on Sunday when they staged a “pray-in” in the main area of the mosque, which is usually reserved for men. The all-female group of Muslims first tried to share the main...
Chic On The Street: Buenos Aires’ Brenda
Spotted leaving Buenos Aires Fashion Week at La Rural: Carolina Hornos channeling “90210” legend Brenda Walsh in her prime—healthy, slightly rebellious and the very best of early ‘90s Americana all in one spunky little package. Vest from Rapsodia,...
Album Drop: This Week’s New Releases, From Liars To Gorillaz
I Love Liars. And I’m not talking about the all the sweet talking men who’ve done me wrong. This time, I’m talking about my fave band in the world, Liars, the ruling triumvirate of all that is awesome. They manage to do the improbable — create...
Have A Very Techy Breakfast
This laptop table tray by Zyane Tan combines two of our favorite activities: eating and computing. Now we might not feel like such slobs when we usually get crumbs all over the keyboard while browsing the morning news. Too bad we don’t have an extra...
Beauty Test Drive: Sephora Lip Stain
We’ve been into lip stains lately. They’re easier to wear than lipstick, less sticky than gloss, and keep us from looking zombie-pale, even on the ickiest of days. There is, however, a problem plaguing most stains: excessive wateriness. This...
The Gap, Completely Turned Upside Down
Did April Fool’s Day come early or something? While it would have been nice to get that out of the way, this Gap store turned upside down is a prank of its own doing. As part of some quirky marketing for its new loyalty program called Sprize, a...
Is Fancy Satin Appropriate For Day?
Heather Mills attended the Television and Radio Industries Club awards wearing a turquoise satin jumpsuit. How do we feel about satin worn during the day? [London, 3/9/10]

About

The Happiest Time in Your Marriage
What is the happiest time in a marriage? It's an interesting question and one I often ponder. People often talk about the honeymoon phase. So, is this -- our supposed newlywed bliss -- the best time in our marriages? I'm not so sure because many also talk about how the first year of a marriage sets the foundation and is the most difficult for many couples. A new survey, according to lemondrop.com, suggests that the happiest time in a marriage is exactly two years, 11 months, and eight days into it. I haven't reached that moment yet so I can't say for sure, but in the lemondrop article many couples at various points in their marriage sounded off about whether this is truly the best time in your relationship. For some, such as one couple who had had their first child at about that point, it was a beautiful time. For others, such as a couple who is stressing out about buying their first home, it wasn't exactly idyllic. What do you think? The Happiest Time in Your Marriage originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Tuesday, March 9th, 2010 at 23:10:38.Permalink | Comment | Email this
Still Too Tired for Sex
In 2001 and in 2004, we reported statistics about couples who are too tired for sex. Apparently, sleep deprivation is still taking a toll on sexual intimacy in marriage. Roni Caryn Rabin of The New York Times reports that one in four Americans say they are too tired to have sex. The study was done by the National Sleep Foundation. One of the questions asked in the 2010 Sleep in America Poll was "if their intimate or sexual relationship has been affected because they are too sleepy ... About one in five respondents (23% Whites, 20% Blacks/African-Americans, 20% Hispanics and 17% Asians) indicated that their relationships had been affected because they are too sleepy." pg. 34. Both of you need to make getting enough sleep a priority. Brandon Peters, M.D. shares guidelines for getting a better night's sleep. Here are some more solutions if your marriage is running on empty. Still Too Tired for Sex originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Tuesday, March 9th, 2010 at 03:21:14.Permalink | Comment | Email this
Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction
Since the DSM working group began announcing their proposals for new sexual diagnoses, I've been slowly making my way through the research that their proposals are based on, trying to glean some idea of how they arrived at what sometimes seem like fantastical proposals for the next twenty years of psychiatric intervention in our sex lives. In the meantime the media's fascination with sex addiction has increased, thanks to the latest celebrity sex news (I'm waiting for someone to call Mo'Nique's husband a sex addict and Mo'Nique herself an enabler based on her refreshing honesty in an interview with Barbara Walters about her marriage). You don't need me to point you to articles that misunderstand and misrepresent sex addiction. That's most of them. I thought I'd point out two articles in the past two months that try to do the opposite. Michael Bader - Sex Addiction: A B.S. Excuse for Not Thinking Raymond Lawrence - America's Sexual Burlesque: The Brave New World of Sexual Addiction Related - What Is Sex Addiction? ; Am I A Sex Addict? ; What's Wrong with Sex Addiction? | Twitter | Newsletter Signup | Sexuality Forum | Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 09:02:14.Permalink | Comment | Email this
So-called "New" Cohabitation Report
One of the teasers on World News Tonight last night was "Cracking the code on marriage! How to keep it strong." The web site link to the WNT segment says "The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage?" When the segment faded to the commercial break, we looked at one another and thought perhaps we missed something. We didn't hear the "secret" other than to choose the right spouse and show respect for one another. The segment was more about cohabitation than about secret formulas for successful marriages. The actual report by the CDC confused us a bit. While the report "Marriage and Cohabitation in the United States" was recently issued by the CDC, it was based on data from the "Cycle 6 (2002) of the National Survey of Family Growth." This is a "new" study? Isn't 2002 around 8 years ago? We suggest reading all the following articles. The different perspectives and takeaways on the same report is fascinating. MSNBC: "Living Together Does Lead to Marriage: 2 in 3 who cohabit tie the knot within 5 years, CDC says." "Most importantly though, the data show that those who live together have just as good a chance of staying married as those who do not live together first." Reuters: "Marriages Last Longer Than Living Together?" "About 75 percent of marriages between men and women 26 years old or older last at least 10 years, compared with only about half of teen marriages." USA Today: "Report: Cohabiting Has Little Effect On Marriage Success." "Sociologist Pamela Smock of the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor considers the data definitive. "On the basis of these numbers, there is not a negative effect of cohabitation on marriages, plain and simple," she says. Paul Amato, a sociologist at Pennsylvania State University, says the new data suggest that "maybe the effect of premarital cohabitation is becoming less of a problem than it was in the past. If it becomes normative now, maybe it's not such a big deal." The New York Times: "Study Finds Cohabiting Doesn't Make a Union Last." "Couples who live together before they get married are less likely to stay married, a new study has found. But their chances improve if they were already engaged when they began living together ... Couples who marry after age 26 or have a baby eight months or more after marrying are also more likely to stay married for more than a decade." Here are a few findings from earlier studies about living together. The risk for divorce among cohabiting couples married at least seven years is the same as couples who didn't live together before marriage. Cohabiting couples in France and Germany have a slightly lower risk of divorce. If cohabitation is limited to couples who are engaged, there is no elevated risk of divorce. Cohabiting couples in the U.S. who take premarital education courses or counseling are not at a higher risk for divorce. If you want a long and happy life together, choose the right spouse, show respect for one another, and get married for the right reasons. Love, communication, humor, and honesty are other qualities that help keep couples together. What is your formula for a successful marriage? So-called "New" Cohabitation Report originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 at 02:13:45.Permalink | Comment | Email this
Military Wives
Wordless Wednesday - Weddings Five brides participate in a joint military wedding, sponsored by WE Television and the USO, at the military island in New York's Time Square on June 11, 2009. © Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images I used to work at another Web site, and many military wives would share their stories, hopes, and fears on the site's forum. In fact, the military wives were the richest part of that site's online community. Many of them even met each other in person. I learned a lot from them. I got to know them during a chaotic and tragic period in our nation's history. The 9/11 terrorist attacks had recently brought our innocence to an end, and we were embarking on a war with Iraq. Many of these families bid farewell to loved ones who were called to combat. Indeed, military families make great sacrifices for all of us. With the military wives I got to know at that other site in mind, I'd like to send military families an online hug -- and invite them to share their stories with the Newlyweds community. I welcome you all to our Newlyweds nest. I set up a discussion thread for military wives, so they can feel free to give and get advice and just chat with their neighbors. I hope you'll participate in the discussion and spread the message that this is a welcoming place for them. More Wordless Wednesday Photos from Other Bloggers More Beautiful Wedding Photos Military Wives originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 at 09:13:46.Permalink | Comment | Email this
Dating Question About Older Men, Younger Women
Chloe asks: "I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 31. He's ready to start a family with me, but I feel like I'm too young to even start thinking about having kids. I'm flattered that he wants me as the mother of his children but the thought scares me too. He's the only guy I've ever dated, and I really care about him a lot. How do I tell him I'm not ready for kids without him breaking up with me over it?" What concerns me most about your question Chloe is the older man aspect of your equation. You probably already know, but dating someone who is thirteen years older than you at this stage of your life is a challenge at the best of times. He's ready to settle down and you aren't. He's already learned how to be independent and live as an adult, whereas you're just getting started - and may still be finishing high school. Basically, your goals and aspirations aren't going to jive with your boyfriends'. This might be difficult to hear, and I realize its not what you're asking, but you need to tell him that you're not ready to have kids yet and prepare yourself for the relationship ending because of it. This isn't your time to start a family, and from what you've said, that won't change anytime soon. If he's dead set on having kids ASAP, then it might be best for both of you if things ended now. Related: Relationship Expectations, Will Our Relationship Last Quiz, Communication Skills Quiz for Couples, Should We Take This Relationship To The Next Level or End It?Dating Question About Older Men, Younger Women originally appeared on About.com Dating on Sunday, February 28th, 2010 at 00:10:44.Permalink | Comment | Email this
Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures
If you're in London this Friday, March 5, the Critical Sexology Seminar looks fascinating. The topic is "Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures". The speakers are: Dr. Kaye Mitchell (Centre for New Writing, University of Manchester) "Raunch vs. Prude: Contemporary Sex Blogs and Erotic Memoirs by Women" Dr. Meg Barker and Prof. Rosalind Gill (Psychology, Open University) "Sexual Subjectification and 'Bitchy Jones's Diary'" Kitty Stryker (Sex blogger, author of PurrVersatility) "'En/forced femme': The Peep Show Experience of Blogging as a Sex Worker" According to their site, the Critical Sexology Seminar series is, ...a London-based, interdisciplinary seminar series for psychologists, psychoanalysts, medical doctors, literary and cultural studies scholars, philosophers, artists, lawyers and historians with a critical interest in the construction and management of gender and sexuality in the medical, discursive and cultural spheres. The series is organized by Lisa Downing (University of Exeter), Meg Barker (Open University) and Robert Gillett (Queen Mary, University of London). Attendance is free and open to all. For more information you can check out their website. | Twitter | Newsletter Signup | Sexuality Forum | Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Monday, March 1st, 2010 at 00:01:10.Permalink | Comment | Email this
Save Money at the Supermarket
Today, I spent my lunch hour at the supermarket doing our grocery shopping. I went a bit out of my way to the Shop Rite in a nearby town because it is cheaper than the A&P right around the corner. As I walked through the aisles, I was careful to choose the best deals - the generic brand when it was available, the ones that were on sale. I also turned away from the yummy goodies that we don't need and aren't good for us anyway (think Oreo cookies and Lay's potato chips). I've been trying to cut corners lately. I know the economy is supposedly bouncing back, but I can't say that I've felt my pockets growing. And everyone with whom I speak seems to be worried about job security. I have to admit that I feel worried about everything, which is why I need to feel as though I'm doing something to prepare for the worst. I can't control what happens on Wall Street, nor can I control what happens with my employers. But I can control how much money I spend at the supermarket. Now, I just needed to get motivated to clip coupons. I find that clipping coupons requires a lot of work - finding them, cutting them out - and I never seem to have them handy when I go to the supermarket. Any suggestions on how to make clipping coupons and organizing them a part of your regular shopping trips? Save Money at the Supermarket originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010 at 22:08:19.Permalink | Comment | Email this
Silly Fights
This evening we watched the sneak preview of the reality television show The Marriage Ref. The preview included a couple disagreeing about what to do with a stuffed dog and a couple not on the same page with having a stripper pole in their bedroom. Believing that marriage is worth fighting for, The Marriage Ref looks at the domestic squabbles, marriage spats, quirky disputes, and bickering of married couples. The comedy show will not feature serious disagreements that could make or break a marriage or domestic violence issues. We laughed as we watched the show and we will probably watch it again. We remembered an argument we had early in our marriage about aquariums. Bob had set up fish tanks in every room of our house -- including the kitchen, bathroom, and our bedroom. When one of the swordtails jumped into bed with us, I was not a happy camper. What's the silliest thing the two of you fought about? Share your silly fight. "> Silly Fights originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Monday, March 1st, 2010 at 07:37:12.Permalink | Comment | Email this
Take Charge of Your Health
I discovered something wonderfully helpful today -- the resources that come with my Oxford health insurance plan. Don't get me wrong. I know the problems with America's health-care system, and I know that we need to do something to change health care, so more people have access to coverage and the medical services they need. But I've had some general questions about fertility, and I was able to get them answered in a quick online chat with a nurse at Oxford's Web site for members. I logged into the member site using my member ID, which is on my card. And I found the online chat service right away. I entered and started chatting with the nurse immediately. He informed me that he was not a doctor and that he couldn't help me with my specific symptoms, nor should I be using this chat in place of a check up. But he could answer general health questions. To answer my questions, he directed me to relevant URLs. My initial research into the topic had turned up much of the same information. Indeed, About.com itself has lots of rich resources for those looking to get scoop on fertility. But it was nice to have everything all in one place on the Oxford site, and it confirmed much of what I had learned about fertility on the Internet. Confirmation of Internet findings is peace of mind for me. Why am I telling you this? Well, my little expedition for information this morning got me thinking. Yes, there are many, many broken parts to our health-care system. But that's all the more reason to take advantage of the little that does work. It's up to us to find the resources available to us (for free, I might add) and take advantage of them. Also, knowledge is power, and you should ask as many questions as you can about your health -- and encourage your spouse to do the same. If your doctor is not available for general questions, you can turn to others and even look to your insurance carrier for help. Who knew?Take Charge of Your Health originally appeared on About.com Newlyweds on Monday, March 1st, 2010 at 11:19:02.Permalink | Comment | Email this
Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered
Bethany Stevens, on her new Crip Confessions blog, has a post about sex work and disability that's well worth reading. On the few occasions when the topic of sex work and disability comes up, it's usually presented in simple ways. It's either a radical topic that makes you think and then affirm your groovy sex positiveness. Or it's a travesty, a double exploitation (after all, to the narrow minded and paternalistic on the left and the right, who are better pity targets than sex workers and disabled people? Imagine that telethon). In fairness, this topic isn't something people have written or talked much about publicly, so the discussion is new. Which makes Stevens' commentary all the more exciting, as it begins to untangle a complex mess of issues and experience. Her focus in the post isn't as much the public discussion as it is the existence of government policy that funds sex specifically for people with disabilities. It's a policy that irks her, and she writes: While many disabled people are economically ghettoized, the framing of policy like this reinforces the charitable model of disability by implicating that disabled people are sexually-deprived. It supports the already pervasive claim that disabled people are not sexually worthy and thereby must seek out the services of a professional, because few, if any, would voluntarily have sex with us. Note that Stevens' problem is not narrowly focused on the policy itself, it's with the framing of the policy. Indeed she goes on to talk about how these policies, while problematic, serve both practical and philosophical functions, calling us all to look not just at the policies and practices that surround sex work and disability, but at the conditions within which such policies and practices develop. Over the course of my many years as a sex educator working in both rehabilitation and disability communities, and as an ally to disabled friends, family, and lovers, these issues, both in theory and practice, have come up often. I remember a man I corresponded with in Germany who had access to direct funding from the government in order to pay for services he needed related to his disability. But he was required to submit receipts and, essentially, justify any expenses which weren't standard on the government forms. He was able to use the money for things like massage, talk therapy, homeopathy, etc... He wanted to use his money for sex work as well, and he didn't see this as fundamentally different (he described all these things as human needs). Whatever I, or anyone else, thinks of the way he experiences sex work, the bottom line was that because of his disability he was required to justify what he would spend his money on, something that I as a non-disabled person would never have to do. Were I living in Germany I wouldn't have to do this with tax refunds, I wouldn't have to do this with unemployment insurance, I wouldn't have to do it period. From my perspective (which is, of course, heavily informed by being currently non-disabled) this is first and foremost an issue of access. In the case of the man from Germany this is probably fair because he was identifying it as an access issue. The problem, which Stevens so skillfully teases out, is that I (we?) can easily generalize and say this is always an issue of access, and sometimes come to believe that this is only an issue of access. Stevens points out that this is about much more than access. Embedded in the do-gooder sex-positive agenda that says people with disabilities should have free access to sex workers is a denial of other important ways that disabled people are systemically denied sexual rights. The lived experience of many people with visible disabilities is that it's much much harder to find sexual partners. Random hook ups, long term relationships, monogamous marriages, you name it. If you look disabled you get the message that these things aren't for you. I've been involved in a couple of different ways in making connections individually and organizationally between sex worker groups and disability activists. I do think that there are important access issues that need to be addressed. But Stevens post is a welcome reminder for me that when I only focus on access, I'm not only missing out, I'm shutting out, which is the opposite of how I want to live my life. Read more - Crip Confessions: Paying for Pleasure: Interrogating Sex Work for Crips Previously - Sex Work Debate and a Denmark Nursing Home ; Sex Work and Disability ; Adult Film Offers a Good Opportunity to Talk About Sex and Disability Related - Sexuality and Disability Resources on About.com Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Friday, February 26th, 2010 at 00:01:20.Permalink | Comment | Email this
What Was Your Best Date Ever?
Have you ever had a date that you knew you'd never forget, no matter what happened with the relationship? One that took your breath away, one that made you giggle, or one that just plain made you feel great? I've heard some dating disaster doozies, and a lot of love stories that made my heart swell. But what I'm after are those dates that will go down in your personal history as one of the best dates of all time - and I'd love to know why said date was so amazing. Did you share great chemistry, or did the words just flow like with no one else? Was it a first date, or was it with someone you'd been dating for years? Were any intimacies exchanged, or was it more lighthearted and and carefree? Did you share your first kiss on the date, or did you do something else - or nothing at all? I'd like to collect a huge database of the best dates ever, so that other singles and dating couples can read through the list, get inspired, try some of the great date ideas themselves, and report back how their amazing date fared. So don't be shy and share your good date stories - and maybe even win the reader story of the week.What Was Your Best Date Ever? originally appeared on About.com Dating on Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 at 02:06:51.Permalink | Comment | Email this

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The Bad Girls Club - March 9 2010 - Se 4 Episode 14 Out With ...

The Bad Girls Club - March 9 2010 - Season 4 Episode 14 Out With ...